(7/8/2020 BS After Meal - 177)
Hi there, I decided to create a space for me to vent and talk about how my diabetes is going.
2016 was an odd year for me. I had a roommate that had diabetes, so I knew some of the signs. I just didn't want to see them when they started applying to me. My toes started going a bit numb, I was always thirsty, and I had to pee constantly. I had a fear in the back of my mind, but it wasn't until I got a pain in my stomach that things started to get serious for me.
I grew up with a nurse for a mom, so I was always told, if you aren't bleeding or throwing up, you can still go to school/work. I figured I had gotten food poisoning or something and that it would just go away eventually. But it didn't...it got so much worse. Every day was pain, like someone had a belt around my stomach and was tightening it more and more. I found myself curled in a ball crying, but still not going to the hospital. A friend told me that it sounded like ecoli or something, and I thought, well....I can't get rid of that on my own, so lets go to the emergency room.
The doctor's bedside manner was seriously lacking as he walks in the room and says, "Are you diabetic?" I said no. To which he replied, "You are now." Thanks so much doc. Cue panic and trying not to cry, but it wasn't over yet. The reason I was in pain was because of a little something called Diabetic Ketoacidosis. For those not in the know, basically my blood sugar was so high that it had turned acidic. That pain? My blood trying to eat my organs.
Christmas was getting closer, and I was stuck in the hospital alone and in pain. The nurses started injecting me with needles of insulin to try and get my sugar down. I realized about this time that this is going to be my new life, and I could sit by and let them do this to me, or I could learn how to do it myself. I asked if they could teach me, and minus one, they all helped me learn how to give myself injections.
But there's more to being diabetic than just injecting insulin. I was released right before Christmas, but I had no idea what to do. They didn't tell me what to eat, what not to eat, no information besides get a glucometer and here's some insulin. I was terrified of food, what if it put me back in there? Thankfully my insurance was all, hey we heard you have diabetes, would you like to take some classes on it? Uh, yes please!
I fired my doctor not long after that for not helping in any way and basically writing me off. After a few more doctors I found one willing and eager to help me. At this point my diabetes was out of control. A blood sugar (BS) level of 250 or higher was the norm every day. I had stopped checking my sugar because every time I did, no matter what I did it was high and I would want to cry. I was breaking inside and found it better to just not check so I wouldn't know.
The new doc sat me down and had a few people come talk to me. Printed me out a log, talked to me about my meds, changed them as needed and my A1C went down to 6.4. I was ecstatic but then my insurance and that doc office had a difference of opinion and I lost him. I found another doc that was so horrible to me that I desperately wanted another as soon as I could. She changed all my meds without talking to me, assumed a lot about me, and told me to my face that it was, and I quote, "bullshit" that I couldn't afford healthy food. Excuse me, Ms. Doctor in your designer clothes, when was the last time you price checked vegetables and fruit? Now price check a bag of potatoes, rice, and beans, all for less than a bag of apples.
I had friends searching for a new doc, I didn't care who, I just needed away. We finally found one, and this is where I am now. She's courteous, talks to me, explains things I don't understand, and seems to want me to be better. I don't think I've been going to her long enough for her to actually care about me as her patient, but maybe one day she will.
So what am I doing for my diabetes now? I take 2 types of insulin, metformin twice a day (when I can remember the morning dose) and something called Ozympic....is that spelled right? Anyway, all together it's been keeping my sugars between 100 and the 140s. Not perfect, but much better. My current A1C is 7.5, so I've got some work to get back down. I'm optimistic. I even ordered a 2 year log book, I hope I can do this. No one else is gonna do it for me, it's all on my own shoulders what happens. I may have bad days, and days I want to give up, but hopefully this blog will help me to keep a check on myself, if I remember to update it :D
-Tahn
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